Confusion&Love
by LawAndOrderSVUAddict
Summary: Elliot and Olivia finally admit their true feelings for each other. Do i need to say more? Story is set in season 13 (in my world, Elliot never left) ONE-SHOT


**For y'all information, I pretended like Elliot was still part of this unit and Detective Rollins and Amaro came in too. This story is set in season 13 and Olivia and Elliot are finally admitting their feelings for each other. **

**Confusion&Love**

Her head hurt, her eyes were about to shut down. Olivia worked all night, trying to connect the dots. They were so close to catching this guy, but they miss that one thing that can put him behind bars for life. The rest of her team went home already….including Elliot. She was kind of shocked, when Elliot told her he was going home too. He would be the one, staying up till the morning, finding evidence, being there with Olivia every step of the way. But this time was different. He seemed tired. Like he couldn't care less about the job right now. And maybe he was right, maybe he shouldn't care so much anymore. Maybe he should think about himself more. She knew there were a lot of people, who already thought he did, but she knew that wasn't true. She knows the 'real' Elliot.

"Olivia!" shouted Cragen, who just walked into the precinct. "Yes, captain" she answered. "Go home! You're working the whole entire night, get some sleep" he said. She wanted to stay, combining the evidence till she would find the last piece of the puzzle. But he was right. She was tired as hell, she had to read everything twice, because it became so blurry, her whole body felt weak from the tiredness, and the only thing that kept her awake, were the cups of coffee she drunk after each passing hour. "Okay, cap" she said, as she stands up, gets her scarf and jacket, and walks towards the elevator. Her fingers, which hurt from browsing all those dossiers, could barely press the button. When she walked into the elevator, she saw Elliot. "I was just coming to help you out" he said. "Too late" she laughed. "Your going home?" he asked, while looked at her pale face, and tired eyes. "Yeah" she said, with all the voice she had left. "You're really tired, aren't you?" said Elliot, while he smiled at her. "Can you see it?" she joked. "What have you done all night long?" he asked. "Tried to connect the dots. Make the puzzle complete. Something's missing, I just don't know what" she said. "Well, let me handle the rest. Go home, I'll take it from here" he said. '"Thanks".

When Olivia came home, she crawled under the covers immediately. She wasn't going to do anything about the mess in her apartment. That's how it always goes; she tells herself she's gonna clean up, right after she comes back from work, but the job, or her tiredness would always get the best of her.

After lying in bed for almost two hours straight, she still wasn't asleep. There were a lot of thoughts flashing trough her mind. It was only three days ago, since she was kidnapped by Ricolli, the serial rapist. Elliot was just in time. If he came in a few minutes later, she may not be here anymore. She owed her life to him. The man she loves do deeply, and she now knows he does too. When she laid there in his arms, not knowing if she was going to make it through the minutes, she wasn't about to waste any time. And so was Elliot. He told her how he felt. He told her he loved her, and he held on to that, even when she was awake, and the doctors told him, she was gonna be alright. He really loved her. And so did Olivia. But why was it so easy for Elliot to suddenly open up about his feelings, while Olivia still struggled to cope with his words. She didn't even know why she was overthinking it so much. He said exactly the words, she wanted to hear for over 12 years. And now…he finally said them…and it felt a lot different than what she expected. What if it wouldn't work out. What if they gave it a shot, and it would end in a terrible heartbreak? Their friendship will be ruined. Everything they have together, thrown away, like some candy wrapper. No, that could not happen. If that meant, she had to sacrifice her dream of being his girlfriend, so be it. They had something way to special, something you can't take risks with. After hours of thinking, she finally lost the battle with her tiredness, and fell asleep.

The next morning, her alarm clock waked her up at 6 o' clock. She struggled with finding the strength to actually get out and do stuff. After 15 minutes of intense yawning, stretching and a few curses, she finally got out of bed, got dressed, and walked to her car. The drive towards the precinct felt like hours. She was still very tired, and wasn't in the mood to work. When she finally arrived at the squad room, the first thing she did, was letting herself fall on her chair, and yawn like crazy. "Someone had a bad night" said Fin, as he looked at Olivia with a look of compassion. "Sort of" she answered. She was not in the mood for talking at all, although she knew Fin meant it well. "If you search Elliot, he's visiting the parents with Amanda right now" added Fin. She looked up from her desk, to Fin. "Why didn't he wait for me?" she asked. Fin stared at her, seeing her eyes get big. "Eh, I don't know. I think he just wanted to get it over with" he said back, waiting for Olivia to tell him what's going on. Why is she so tensed?

"Are you okay?" asks Fin, obviously worried. "Yeah, never mind. Thanks" she said as she turned her back at him, and started flipping through papers who were lying on her desk. "You need help with that?" asked a familiar voice. She immediately turned around. "El!''. "Yeah, I'm sorry for leaving without you, i know how tired you were yesterday, so I wanted to spare you the trip". She immediately feels guilty. She was getting all worked up inside about the fact he left without her, while he did it for her. She was being selfish, and she knew it. Elliot was being very sweet, and supportive. It was time to return the favor. "That's fine. I appreciate it". She smiles at him. Elliot looks Olivia in the eyes, just long enough, to make Olivia look away. She always got nervous and shy when he looked at her that way. Maybe just the thought of him looking at her, scared her. Scared he was gonna see right through her. Scared he would find out, what she really thought. Find out she wanted to be more than just partners, or just friends. Even now Elliot came clean, Olivia still can't do it. They kissed, been intimate, and most importantly they could talk about feelings they bring home from work, cause they both have to deal with it. She already did more with him, than normal friends do. So why wine about it? It was just a matter of time, before Elliot was gonna find out she was hiding her true feelings. And him looking at her, like he's reading her mind or body language scared the crap out of her. That's why she decides to come clean….tonight. she doesn't wanna spent one other day, living a lie. It's a risk, but she's willing to take it. She turned around, looking in Elliot's eyes again. "Can we talk tonight?" she asked nervously. "Ofcourse. Are you alright?" he asked, not knowing why Olivia wanted to talk to him. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to tell you some things" Olivia said while she tried to control her voice, and preventing it from shaking. The rest of the day went by in some sort of trance. She spent the whole day thinking about the conversation she was going to have with Elliot. She didn't want to mess this up. This was very important. She's putting everything on the line here, she's going to talk with him about the subject, that made her the most vulnerable: HIM. When the day was finally over, she walked to her car, got in, and sat down for a minute, just staring out the window, hearing raindrops falling on her car window. Listening to people yelling on the street. listening to the screaming of the wind. Sometimes it felt like everything was just too much. And now, was one of those 'sometimes'. She slowly grabbed her car keys out of her purse, and drove home. When she arrived in her apartment, she just waited for him to come. She never knew the silence could be this loud. But now she does. She poured herself a glass of wine, to calm her nerves down. The adrenaline was pumping through her body, her voice was shaky and her hand felt week. She even had to put her glass of wine down, so it wouldn't fall on the floor. Ten minutes later, she heard knocks on the door. "I'm coming" she shouted. She stood up and walked towards the door. When she put her hand on the doorknob, she saw her hand shaking. She had to calm down first, before she let him in. she waited till she was in control of her hands again, and opened the door. "Sorry it took so long" she said embarrassed. "No, that's okay. It didn't even take that long" he said while he smiled at her. He walked inside. "Sit down" says Olivia. Elliot and Olivia take place on her couch. They just sat there, starring at each other. Waiting for someone to break the silence. "You wanted to.." , but Olivia cut him off. "Yes, I wanted to talk to you" she adds. "About what?" he asked with a kind of curiosity in his voice, she hasn't heard that often. She smiles a little. But her body won't allow her to smile all the way, it's probably the nerves. She felt so unbelievably scared. "Are you okay?" Elliot said, while his smile became smaller, and his curiosity became bigger. 'I'm fine" said Olivia, it cost her a lot of strength not to break down. "Are you sure?" he said, making Olivia completely aware of the fact she's not hiding her feelings very well. "Well you're right, I'm not really fine'' she finally admits. She waits a second before she goes on. Elliot is trying to figure out what's going on here, but he can't. Olivia saw he was brainstorming, and she was getting frustrated about the fact he hadn't had a clue, cause that meant she really had to say it, he wasn't gonna say it for her. He would, if he could. But he can't. "What happened between us" Olivia starts again. "What about it?" says Elliot, trying to make it sound like the most normal case in the world. It made Olivia feel, like it didn't even mean anything to him. But she knew he was faking it, she knows how much he really loves her and cares for her. "I don't really know what you want from me El" she says, looking at him, trying to see what her comment did with him. "I don't want anything from you, I want anything with you" Elliot says while he reaches out for her hand. She pulls it back. "I'm sorry" he whispered. This wasn't going as planned. Not at all. She was doing everything she promised herself not to do. "El, don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. Just let me explain how I feel, okay?" said Olivia while she nervously played with her scarf. "You just divorced Kathy, you almost lost me" she continues. "What are you trying to say?" asks Elliot, getting more scared with the minute. "I'm trying to tell you, that the feelings you were feeling, or even the feelings that you are still feeling…I don't know if they're real. I don't know if it was the confusion that made you say it, or your real feelings". "I promise you Liv, it wasn't my confusion talking. It was the fear of losing you, that made me crazy. I couldn't bare to lose you. You wanna know why?" he asked, while he tried to reach out for her hand again, this time with more luck. "Yeah I do" she said, while she was waiting for the line she really wanted to hear: _Because I love you'. _if he would say those words, her life would actually become complete. She wouldn't be alone anymore, she didn't have to wake up alone every morning and she would finally have that special person in her life, she could call _hers. _"I was so scared of losing you, because I realized that if I did, I would never have the chance to spent my life, with the one person I love the most. I wouldn't have the chance to tell you how much you actually mean to me. That's why. No confusion, no fear, just love. I promise". Olivia never felt so happy in her entire life. This was even more than she hoped for. "I love you too. That's a promise also' said Olivia, while she moved closer towards him, and finally feels free. No lies, no fear, no complications, just love

**A/N okay so this is going to be a one-shot, but reviews are always very very appreciated. Please let me know what I did good or what I didn't!**


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